


All My Tears

by doctorsimmonswilson



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - No SHIELD (Marvel), Angst, Canon Disabled Character, F/M, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Mentions of Cancer, Philinda Are Daisy’s Parents, Romance, alternating pov, big darn AU okay?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-15
Updated: 2020-10-15
Packaged: 2021-03-08 18:49:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,756
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27031453
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/doctorsimmonswilson/pseuds/doctorsimmonswilson
Summary: Daniel Sousa and Daisy Johnson meet in a hospital and fall in love over spilled milk. Things just happen like that.
Relationships: Background Leo Fitz/Jemma Simmons, Skye | Daisy Johnson/Daniel Sousa, background Melinda May/Phil Coulson
Comments: 8
Kudos: 49





	All My Tears

**Author's Note:**

> this was pretty hard to summarize. but I think a I did a good job. at least I hope so. this is a bit different than my other fics, perhaps more angsty. I tried a few new tricks. 
> 
> comments let me know how I’m doing & make me smile! I love kudos!
> 
> voila!
> 
> Edit: changed summary and fixed errors.

It takes him approximately twelve seconds to realize his mistake(he’d been counting). She bites her lip, obviously holding back a retort. He sees the frustration grace her features; he holds his breath. She rolls her eyes, and walks away. That is the last time Daniel Sousa looks at Daisy Johnson. 

Perhaps it was a cruel trick of fate, or maybe it was just the way life happens to people like them, but they met in a hospital. He had just arrived, and she had been there already three weeks. She got good news that time around. He got his leg amputated. In a lot of ways, they were like that; opposites. She was impulsive, while he was calculated. Daniel always wondered if that’s what made them work so well. They stopped each other from being stupid or cynical. Cruelly, he thinks, it was also the reason they were so stupid and cynical. He sees it again, her walking away. Over and over again in his mind, he sees her walking away from him. He wonders if the last time wasn’t the first. 

D A I S Y • D A N I E L • D A I S Y • D A N I E L

The thing about getting the worst news of your life is that the mind and body go into a sort of state of calm. Not the peaceful kind of calm, where someone’s fingers are threading through your hair, and the birds are chirping outside your window. The other kind. The kind of calm where your nerves have short circuited, and you feel entirely numb, like an old bar that’s just turned off its lights for the last time. 

“...was really into it. You might like to go sometime with her. Daniel? Daniel?” 

“Sorry,” Daniel’s attention snaps back to Fitz. “What are you talking about?”

Fitz looks slightly disheartened. “I showed Jemma the Natural History Museum for the first first time. I think you’d like it. She would love to go again, so she-“

“Sorry, Fitz. I’m glad Jemma had a good time, but I don’t think I’ll be doing much walking anytime soon.”

The Scottish man’s face reddens, “No, I meant-“

“Thank you for coming, Fitz. It means a lot. I’m just tired today,” Daniel can’t seem to look his friend in the eye, so he stares out the window.

“Yeah,” Fitz shakes his head, “No problem. Jemma was thinking of stopping by tomorrow, but I can tell ‘er you’re not up for eh’.” Daniel debates this internally. 

“She can come. Good seeing you.”

“Anytime,” Fitz squeezes his shoulder. “See yeh, mate.” Fitz nods, then he seems to see something past Daniel. Daniel turns to face the doorway. 

“Jemma! I didn’t know…” Fitz begins. 

“I’m visiting Daisy. And I’ve brought her. I figured Daniel here could use some company,” Jemma does that terrible lying thing with her eyebrows. 

“Righ’,” Fitz nods. Then he speaks lowly to Daniel, “I can tell them to go if…” Daniel shakes his head. He really doesn’t mean to be rude.

“Hey,” Daisy presses her lips together. She waves a hand, which is attached to a fluid bag by an IV in her wrist. Daniel thinks she looks pale, much more so than she should. 

“Hi,” he reaches out a hand. “Daniel Sousa.”

“Daisy Johnson,” she shakes said hand with her own. “Does Fitz come in and bother you everyday too?” Poor Fitz(who came around the bed to stand next to Jemma), looks affronted. 

“Only nearly,” Daniel teases. 

“Hey!” Fitz throws his arms up in mock defense. “I think I need a break from you two anyways. Lunch, my dear?” He turns to Jemma.

“Goodbye, dear friends!” Jemma grins on her way out, giggling madly as her and Fitz walk out hand-in-hand. There’s a moment of awkward silence. 

“If you don’t mind me asking, what is the IV for?”

Daisy blinks, “Wow. Okay, you’re straightforward.”

“I’ve been told,” Daniel grins sheepishly. 

“It’s okay, I like that in a person. I’m a little bit like that myself,” Daisy smiles, “Um, it’s got some sort of medicine in it. I had cancer as a kid. It metacized in my lungs, and it gave me some pretty shitty infections. I’m fine now though, they just like to pump me full of drugs every time I get a little cold.”

Daniel nods, “I’m sorry that they pump you full of drugs. I’ve been feeling a bit of that myself lately.”

“Yeah?” Daisy quirks an eyebrow. Daniel finds himself akin to her, liking her even. He pulls off the covers on top of his lower body.

“Just got home a few weeks ago. Full disability from the service.”

“Damn. Stuff like that is why I don’t believe in God or any of that.”

“Did you ever have faith?”

“Nah. I was orphaned, and grew up in an orphanage...but it never stuck. Until the cancer. They found some people to adopt me when I had cancer too. So bye-bye nuns.” 

“So you did have faith. When you had cancer, I mean,” Daniel carefully brings himself to a wheelchair. He’s impressed with himself and how good he’s gotten at it. 

“My parents were mildly Catholic. I mean, my dad prayed— once. Then they decided they weren’t. They’re… weird,” Daisy’s smile is filled with fondness. 

“I had faith once. Before I joined up. Some of the guys and women, faith led them through. Me, I don’t know. Even getting blown up didn’t make me hate God. I just stopped believing. Or practicing. I don’t know.” Daisy leans against the doorframe to his room. “You should take a seat. I’m not going anywhere.”

“Maybe we could find a kindly nurse. Go out to the garden. Have you been out there? It’s beautiful.”

“Can’t say I have,” Daniel presses his lips together, shrugging.

“I’ll take you out there one day, promise. You should see the garden.” 

D A N I E L • D A I S Y • D A N I E L • D A I S Y

“So, Daisy: what do you do?” Daisy blinks at Daniel’s father before collecting herself.

“I work in I.T. I do a bit of coding, but mostly reversing malware, and backlogging. A little bit of everything, I guess.”

“What got you into computers?” Sousa senior keeps his same straight face. Mrs. Sousa quietly sips her soup. 

“Uh, I was trying to find out about my birth parents. So I got into… going through systems and such.” She looks down at her plate. She is not doing well. She feels Daniel squeeze her knee under the table. 

“You’re adopted?” His mother finally speaks up, and Daisy hopes this’ll feel less like an interrogation. 

“Yeah,” Daisy makes a happy expression, “by some really amazing people.” 

“You’d like to adopt then?” His mother looks at her calculatingly, and Daisy’s stomach drops.

“Maybe. I haven’t really- I think adoption is important. Obviously whoever I decide to have kids with would make that decision with me.”

“I’m sure your parents are lovely, but there aren’t really orphanages anymore. I mean, having your own kids,” the older woman looks to Daniel, who looks like he’s been through this before, “is just incomparable.”

Daisy swallows the lump in her throat harshly, “I’m sure. But-“

“Hey, Daisy. Want to come get the pie we brought with me?” Daniel looks at her. She appreciates the sentiment.

“Oh nonsense! You’re a big boy.” His mother looks faux-dotingly at Daisy.

“I’d like to know more about I.T. My nephew, Daniel’s cousin, is in I.T. Is it terribly boring staring at a computer all day?” His father’s face hasn’t moved an inch sans his mouth.

-

“I’m sorry,” Daniel immediately turns to her. “I’m so sorry. I knew they’d be like this! They are never satisfied. It’s why-“ Daniel doesn’t finish on account of seeing Daisy’s face.

“Maybe I shouldn’t have-“ 

“No. This wasn’t your fault,” Daniel soothes. Tears begin to leak out of Daisy’s eyes. Daniel wraps his arms around her. She begins to sob. He just holds her tighter. “Please believe this wasn’t your fault,” he whispers. He strokes her hair gently, and Daisy’s sobs subside.

“Are they like this with everyone you’ve brought home?”

“I’ve brought two other girls home. The first broke off our engagement. The other and I were never going to last. And trust me, they were both strong women like yourself.” 

Daisy nods, sniffling. “You think they have unprocessed trauma? I mean my therapist says that that’s usually why people are so hard on others,” she shrugs. Daniel chuckles. Daisy does too.

“They never looked at me the same; after I came home. I think all they saw was their darling son, gone. Sometimes we can’t really understand something so we refuse to acknowledge it.” Daisy looks down, licking her lips.

“Next time, we’ll go to my parents’ place,” she promises. Daniel wipes a stray tear off her cheek with his thumb, kissing her softly. 

-

“And then poor Daisy here tripped over the thing, and dropped her ice cream,” Phil Coulson grins. 

“You can sure tell a story, can’t you, Dad?” Daisy grins at her father.

“He thinks himself hilarious,” Melinda May says dryly, giving Sousa a knowing look.

“It was a great story. Poor Daisy though,” Daniel grins at his girlfriend. 

“I was fine. They got me more ice cream,” she winks back at him, digging her fork into her cake. “Is this from Sui-Ling’s?” She looks to her parents. Then she turns to Daniel, “It’s a bakery down the street. Best cookies you’ve ever had. I’ll bring you there.” 

“Yup,” Coulson nods. “Your favorite flavor.”

“Chocolate banana cream,” Daniel recites.

“Good man. He’s just won some points over with the dad,” May grins. “And me too… if he likes the cake.” She purses her lips. Daisy scoops a piece onto her fork and hands it to Daniel. He takes a bite.

“Not bad,” he nods. 

“She’s going to kill you,” Daisy grins, her teasing eyes staring at himself. Daniel meets them with his own.

“You’d save me, wouldn’t you?”

D A I S Y • D A N I E L • D A I S Y • D A N I E L

_I have something to tell you_

__

_Me too, actually.  
Well, ask._

__

_meet me @ my place @ 7_

____

_Okay. I love you._

_____ _

_____ _

_love you_

____

-

____

Daisy lets out a breath as she unlocks her apartment. She wants to find the tub of ice cream that’s definitely gone bad, and consume it all. Mostly she wants someone to tell her everything will be okay. She told Daniel about the spare key, so she’s expecting to be greeted with his face. She’s greeted by an aroma that can only be described as: italian food. 

____

“What the hell are you doing?” She demands.

____

“I made you dinner. Someone should use your stove,” Daniel shrugs. Something starts, and Daniel mumbles, “Shit.” It’s so uncharacteristic of him, Daisy wonders if she’ll wake up tomorrow and this whole day will have been a dream. Wouldn’t that be nice.

____

“Daniel,” she says. Nothing further. He seems to regain control of the stove, and places the food onto plates. 

____

“I know, I should’ve asked to use the stove, but-“

____

“It’s okay. This was very romantic of you,” Daisy says quietly. Daniel grins at her. He strides over to her, and kisses her deeply. 

____

“I love you,” he whispers into her mouth. 

____

Daisy pushes him away gently, “Daniel, please.”

____

“Please what?” Confusion is drawn across his features.

____

“I have to tell you something.” 

____

“Okay. But our dinner will get cold, so tell me over dinner, okay?” 

____

Daisy licks her lips, “Okay.”

____

No more than a half hour later, she cracks.

____

“Daisy, I know that you are…not incredibly keen on institutions, but I have to ask you this. You are the most incredible woman I have ever met, and I would do anything to spend the rest of my life with you. Daisy,” he pulls out a small black box from underneath the table, and opens it. Daisy’s stomach drops. “Will-“

____

“My cancer is back, Daniel,” she bores her eyes into his, willing him to realize what a bad idea marrying her would be. He drops the box. 

____

“How bad?” There are tears in his eyes, and Daisy realizes she must have them too, because her cheeks feel wet. 

____

“Stage II. Osteosarcoma again. In my left humerus.” 

____

“Can I still ask you to marry me?”

____

“That’s a dumb idea,” she sniffles. Daniel wipes a tear from his face. 

____

“It’s the best damn idea I’ve ever had. And I had the bright idea to protect my team from an explosion,” he blinks rapidly, clearly trying to prevent tears from falling. Daisy lets out a sobbing laugh. 

____

“Yes,” she says. 

____

-

____

She knows just how pale she looks. She knows Daniel holds her and cringes when he can feel her bones so prominently through her skin. 

____

“Are you feeling dinner tonight?” Daniel asks gently. He never speaks like it could be her last night, although they both know it could.

____

“No,” she shrugs, “Whatever you want.”

____

“I love you,” Daniel kisses her forehead.

____

“I love you too,” she says weekly. He places a hand on her cheek, admiring her, before studying the Chinese food menu.

____

____

-

____

“How does it feel to be in remission, fiancée?” Daniel kisses down her scar from her first lung surgery. Daisy’s brain is cloudy, but she giggles breathily. 

____

“It feels great, fiancé. How does it feel to know that you’ll be my husband?”

____

“It feels like this,” Daniel says, bringing his lips somewhere decidedly arousing. Daisy thinks it must feel pretty damn good.

____

D A N I E L • D A I S Y • D A N I E L • D A I S Y

____

“Have you ever thought about adoption?” Daisy asks, combing her fingers through Daniel’s hair, admiring the wedding band she’s been wearing for the past year. Daniel looks at her.

____

“I haven’t thought much about kids besides knowing I want them.”

____

“I want to adopt. But if that’s not- if you don’t- I’m asking if you want to adopt.” 

____

“We could,” he shrugs. “We should,” he amends. “We have plenty of time to have biological kids too. Kids in foster care don’t have that kind of time.” 

____

“You’re right. You’re ready, just like that?” 

____

“Daisy,” he looks at her faux-patronizing, “if life has taught us anything, it’s that you have to be ready for whatever comes. And look at Jemma and Fitz with Alya. Kids make people crazy. But the way they talk about her…”

____

“I want that for us too,” Daisy grins.

____

-

____

Daniel kisses his head again and again and again. Daisy leans her head on Daniel’s shoulder, tickling the toddler’s feet.

____

“Mommy stop it!” The little boy shrieks, laughing. Daniel grins. He can’t believe he’s officially their son. 

____

“Daddy, do you think Thomas needs a bath?” Daisy grins manically. He’ll just have to call her ‘mommy’ later. 

____

“I think so,” Daniel shakes his head, adjusting the boy so that he’s on Daniel’s front, legs around his waist and arms around his neck.

____

“I love you, Daddy.” Daniel’s heart melts.

____

D A I S Y • D A N I E L • D A I S Y • D A N I E L

____

“Damn it, Daniel! I’m sick of hearing about this,” Daisy fumes, “If I hear one more word about-“

____

“He deserves to know that we’re not really his parents!” Daisy blanches at his words. It takes him approximately twelve seconds to realize his mistake(he’d been counting). She bites her lip, obviously holding back a retort. He sees the frustration grace her features; he holds his breath. She rolls her eyes, and walks away. That is the last time Daniel Sousa looks at Daisy Johnson. And perhaps the first time he really sees her.

____

“Wait, Daisy! God, I’m such an idiot. That’s not how I meant it.”

____

“Is it how you feel?” Daisy crosses her arms over her chest, frowning.

____

“Of course not. I meant that we’re not his biological parents. He’s old enough.”

____

“I’m terrified. So freaking scared that he’ll be curious like I was, and he’ll find them and he won’t want us anymore.”

____

“He’s seven,” Daniel grins, wrapping his arms around her.

____

“I know,” she mumbles into his shoulder. “I’m still scared.” 

____

“Don’t be. You're his mom, and I’m his dad. He knows that.”

____

“Promise?”

____

“Promise,” Daniel kisses the top of her head. 

____

Daisy looks up at him, and smiles.

____


End file.
